I am still a mother Part VI
I woke up yesterday and seen so many posts about October being Breast Cancer Awareness month and Domestic Violence Awareness month. Very few posts about Pregnancy and Infant Loss. I was crushed...but I wasn't surprised. I can't even say that if you haven't experienced it you won’t support it because I know several people who have never been affected by breast cancer and domestic violence but will still post to support it. Why is that? How can we raise awareness for breast cancer and domestic violence but not pregnancy and infant loss?
I read several comments such as pregnancy loss is a taboo subject or there’s no money to be made from pregnancy and infant loss. Things that don't really make sense to me. It’s not about money or recognition for me, it’s about educating our people that this issue can happen right at your front door just like domestic violence and breast cancer. But we don’t talk about miscarriages or stillbirths and I want to know why?? Just like all lives matter all babies matter too.
I was so glad that Kori was able to do the interview. She doesn't know, but I felt a lot of comfort when I started following her page. After I loss Elijah, I deleted all social networks including Instagram. When I decided to join again, I did it with the Foundation's page first before starting my personal page again. When I searched certain hashtags, her page was one of the first that came up. And I could relate all too well on some of the things she said....read her story
Name: Kori Core and my angel Kai Coleman Core Where are you from:
-Utah Where do you currently live:
-Utah 1. When did you become an angel mommy? I became an angel mommy on October 1st, 2014
2. How did losing your baby change your life? My baby changed me for the better, taught me to appreciate life more and to spend more time with my kids here on earth.
3. How do you feel the hospitals supported you after your loss? The hospital I was at I feel handled my loss horribly. After Kai was born they put him in a white bucket with a lid. I was livid because that is my baby, my flesh and blood they are just dumping in a bucket. Also seemed that the nurses and hospital staff didn't know what to do until my doctor showed up and ordered everyone around. I had a nurse tell me, we usually take pictures for families but the camera is broken. I will not go back to that hospital again.
4. Did you ever experience negative comments from others? The only negative comments I have received are from my Instagram page that I created for support. Other then that people are pretty quiet around me.
5. How did your loss affect your friendships and relationships? I found out who my true friends were. I lost a good friend in the whole ordeal and I'm fine with it because I have changed since losing Kai. My marriage is stronger then ever, we fuss here and there on our bad days but I don't know what I would do without my husbands support after we lost Kai.
6. What are you doing to turn your pain into purpose? About November or December of last year 2014 I created a Instagram page to help with my grieving. I post quotes, posters and stories of other angel mommies that have gone through a loss as well. Through my pain I know I'm helping other moms out there and I'm grateful for the love and support I have received myself from starting my page. I have met women that I know will be long lasting friendships, having a friend that know what your going through has helped me tremendously.
7. What do you want others to know about your baby? I just want my sons memory to live on. My precious sweet boy was delivered by my husband when we were alone in the ER/ultrasound room. During my pregnancy I always had cravings for Arby's roast beef sandwiches and strawberry milkshakes.
8. What advice can you give a grieving mother? Advice to any grieving parent is take the time that you need. Grieving has no time limit and honestly I think we will grieve forever. Unconditional love of a child loss cannot be explained, it just hurts. Also don't take others comments to heart, I came to understand that they just don't understand and we as grieving parents need to have the grace to understand that as well.
Follow her on Instagram @angelmomasupport_ttcrainbow