I am still a mother Part IX

I have to apologize on the delay for getting the next interview out. Sometimes you just have to take time for self and I need lots of it. I can't remember exactly when I started talking to our next angel mommy, but it happened on Instagram. I swear sometimes social media can be the best thing LOL. I believe it was a post that we kept commenting back and forth on. I remember telling her to reach out to me if she ever needed someone to talk to. She sent me a DM saying "Hi, I’m having one of those moments. Sometimes I feel like I will never be ok." When I checked the page and seen the DM, I immediately reached out to her to try to support her any way I could. Although I could not take her pain away, I knew how much it meant to her just to have someone to talk and vent to.

Since meeting her on IG, we have texted back and forth to be a support system for one another. I appreciate her and her willingness to do this interview. Here is Natasha's story....

Name: Estefania Toussaint

Where are you from: Canada, Montreal

Where do you currently live: Caracas Venezuela

1. When did you become an angel mommy?

July 16, 2015

2. How did losing your baby change your life?

It made me appreciate life more. Realize that life is so fragile. Your can be up and running today and not wake up tomorrow.

3. How do you feel the hospitals supported you after your loss?

They didn't support me in any way at all!!! To the point that they didn't even advice me on what I should do to stop the milk flow. I think they were more concerned with freeing the incubator and sending her to the morgue.

4. Did you ever experience negative comments from others?

Yes, Dumb things like "you're young u will have other kids" to me that's a negative comment because it frustrates me.

5. How did your loss affect your friendships and relationships?

Not much really, except the ones here and there that don't know how to react and just avoid me all together. Which I don't mind. I rather that than them saying something that won't help.

6. What are you doing to turn your pain into purpose?

So far the only thing I can focus on is making sure I'm as healthy as possible for the sake of my future children. Though she didn't die because of something I did or didn't do. I just want to ensure I avoid the avoidable with my next pregnancy.

7. What do you want others to know about your baby?

That she was the most beautiful baby I ever laid eyes on. She was very alert and aware of her surroundings. He oils know hen mommy walked in the room and cry for me right away. She was my child. She was NOT a fluke. She was perfect.

8. What advice can you give a grieving mother?

Only thing I can say is don't overthink. If you sit there and think and blame yourself you will never be able to move on. Moving on isn't forgetting by no means, it's learning to LIVE regardless of the pain you've experienced.

9. Do you still consider yourself a mother?

MOST DEFINITELY. I'm a mother to a beautiful angel in heaven. Sara will always be my first baby.

#goPinkandBlue #SIDS #iamtheface #iam1in4 #stillbirth #infantloss #stillbirthawareness #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #pregnancyandinfantloss

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